


Written In the Stars

by potentiality_26



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, First Time, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Pining, Telepathic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:37:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5867809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Harry blinked and said, “Eggsy,” with warmth but undeniable surprise.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Though he had anticipated exactly this reception, Eggsy barely managed to keep his face from falling. Harry never seemed anything but pleased by Eggsy’s visits, but the fact that he plainly expected to see less of Eggsy hurt. Eggsy suspected that Harry disapproved but was too kind to say so, and Harry would never have let good manners stop him from telling Eggsy where he was going wrong before; it was just one more sign that the ties that had bound them together for so long were unraveling</i>
</p><p>Eggsy becomes a knight. It doesn't simplify his relationship with his master as much as he hoped it might.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Written In the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, another Star Wars AU. I haven’t read any of the others yet, so hopefully I’m bringing something unique to the table here. It's mostly based on elletromil’s tags [on this post.](http://elletromil.tumblr.com/post/121070517368) It also plays a little bit fast and loose with Star Wars canon itself; it's inspired by the metric fuckton (technical term) of Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon fanfic I read back in the day, which I feel like is a genre in and of itself with its own rules and tropes.
> 
> Not Brit-picked.

“How is he?” Eggsy asked of Harry.

“Almost a worse patient than his apprentice was,” Merlin replied with a snort.

While it was true that Eggsy had never taken being sent to the healer’s wing with much grace, he could see inside from where he and Merlin stood in the gardens talking, and Harry did not appear to be making a nuisance of himself in the slightest. If anything, he was charming everyone who came near him shamelessly. A young healer- newly promoted, by the looks of her- flushed and ducked her head, and Eggsy felt a mild but unavoidable prickle of jealousy. Mild, because he knew that it meant nothing- the truest sign of affection from Harry was when he allowed himself to be anything less than polite in someone’s presence- but unavoidable because for as long as Eggsy could properly remember he had been inappropriately possessive of his master. Even before Harry _was_ his master- when Eggsy had been just a child- he had made a great deal of trouble for his minders by constantly slipping away on fact finding missions to see if there were any other children Harry visited from time to time, or if- because Harry was the one who had found him- he was special.

Jedi were meant to recognize such emotions, make peace with them in meditation, and then release them into the force. But Jedi also learned how to recognize a lost cause and not waste their energy fighting against what could not be changed, and Eggsy had meditated his knees raw before he had admitted to himself that there was nothing of Harry- nothing he could possibly give- that Eggsy did not wish could be his alone.

“Well then,” Eggsy started, then stopped. Difficult patient or not, Harry did hate to be in the healer’s wing- which he had been easily as often as Eggsy. The two of them had been sent on some of the most difficult assignments the order was involved in, and Eggsy had made a habit of getting Harry back to their shared quarters as soon as he was permitted to- and Harry had always done the same for him. “So would you let me take him off your hands?” The words dropped off Eggsy’s tongue with practiced ease even as his stomach turned over.

Merlin cocked his head to one side. Probably he sensed Eggsy’s distress and was attempting to account for it. Eggsy half hoped that Merlin would tell him no, that Harry wasn’t well enough yet, but he didn’t. He said, “Of course.”

Though most Jedi had some degree of telepathy, Merlin’s was perhaps the strongest in the order. He knew that things had changed between Eggsy and Harry. He knew that Eggsy was reluctant to be alone with his former master. Force, he probably even knew why.

Clearly he was not sympathetic.

Eggsy kept his voice even. “Thank you, Master.” He bowed to Merlin and slipped into the healer’s wing.

The trip to Harry’s room was one that Eggsy could make blindfolded now, but he took his time, putting off their encounter for as long as possible.  

By the time he arrived, the young healer was finished with her examination. She brushed past him on her way out, her cheeks a bright pink. She stopped, bowed to him quickly, and was gone. Eggsy lingered in the doorway, only years of lessons from Harry that Jedi did not fidget keeping him from doing just that.

Harry blinked and said, “Eggsy,” with warmth but undeniable surprise.    

Though he had anticipated exactly this reception, Eggsy barely managed to keep his face from falling. Harry never seemed anything but pleased by Eggsy’s visits, but the fact that he plainly expected to see less of Eggsy hurt. Eggsy suspected that Harry disapproved but was too kind to say so, and Harry would never have let good manners stop him from telling Eggsy where he was going wrong before; it was just one more sign that the ties that had bound them together for so long were unraveling. The worst part was that Eggsy knew as well as everyone else did that he was clinging to Harry beyond what was natural, that Harry probably didn’t understand what was happening any more than Eggsy’s friends did. The moment Eggsy was knighted Jamal and Ryan had begun asking questions about when he would move to his own quarters, when he would begin taking on more duties, when he would select his first solo mission. Roxy had waited longer to begin asking him such questions, but lately she had begun all the same.

Eggsy knew it was odd. Some two years ago now, Harry had first floated the idea that Eggsy might soon be ready for the trials. It had taken Eggsy about half that time to grow accustomed to the idea. He wanted to become a knight, of course he did- and he wanted to make Harry proud of him- but the idea of leaving Harry’s side had never struck him as quite right. Harry had promised to give Eggsy anything he wanted after he passed the trials. Intellectually, Eggsy had known that Harry meant a piece of furniture that Eggsy might like to take with him when he left for quarters of his own or something to that effect- but he had almost immediately promised himself that what he would ask Harry for would be a night in his bed. Fantasies of how it would be to have Harry finally possess his body as he always had his heart had kept Eggsy going when nothing else could. Sometimes, he fantasized too that he would please Harry enough that his master would want to be with him again, would want to keep him- but most of the time the best ending Eggsy could imagine involved serenely accepting that Harry would never see him as anything more than a boy and loving him in silence for the rest of his days. Neither thought had saved Eggsy when the time came for the trials and he failed them. Merlin, of course, had gently insisted that Eggsy had not failed so much as made it clear that he wasn’t actually ready and that he was sure Eggsy would succeed in time.

 _Harry believed I was ready_ , Eggsy had said, unable to think that Harry could have been wrong in that.

 _Is there nothing that perhaps Harry cannot see?_ Merlin had asked in return, and that was when Eggsy had known exactly why he had failed- and no doubt disappointed Harry irrevocably in the process. There was little that Eggsy had ever hidden from his master, but he had hidden this: that he would much rather never be a knight than lose Harry.    

Eggsy had spent a miserable few hours in meditation, trying to think of the best way to secure Harry’s forgiveness for keeping his true feelings a secret and for humiliating him like this, but in the end he had used none of them. He had not seen Harry. A diplomatic mission had come up and Arthur, in his infinite wisdom, had decided to send Harry on it alone in order to give Eggsy more time to contemplate what had gone wrong. Had Eggsy been any less guilt-ridden, any less disturbed by his failure, he might have seen that that made no sense, but he hadn’t. He had only realized it at the same time half of the temple did- when Harry was killed. He had walked into a trap, miraculously survived a fight in which he was hopelessly outnumbered, and then been attacked and ultimately defeated by a Sith apprentice. Eggsy had begged to be allowed to go after her himself and Arthur had allowed it. Eggsy should have known that that was a trap too- but even if he had he would not have cared. If he died, at least he would be with Harry again.

But when Eggsy fought the apprentice, he won. He would probably have killed her, too, except that in that moment Eggsy had felt the faintest tendril of something through the training bond he had thought broken forever. Of Harry not quite dead after all. And he had forgotten her completely, let her get away rather than waste a single of bit of his energy on anything other than finding his master and keeping him alive until he could get him to a healer. It was just as well, because this had meant that Roxy and Percival could follow the apprentice back to her own master- who had, unbelievably, turned out to be Senator Valentine, and who had himself turned out to have had Arthur in his pocket for years- and put a stop to the return of the Sith once and for all.

All of that had happened while Harry barely clung to life in the healer’s wing. Eggsy had taken the trials a second time and passed. He had been made a knight while Harry slept on. To have been knighted without Harry at his side, to have never gotten the chance to ask Harry for what he wanted most… the whole business had been unrecognizable for what Eggsy had imagined becoming a knight would be like. Eggsy could claim that it was that which had set him off balance, made it harder for him to move on with his life, but it would be a lie. A traitor Arthur might have been, but he hadn’t been wrong that Eggsy wasn’t ready. He had very probably only passed the second time because, on the off chance that Harry never woke up, Eggsy refused to let his master’s last apprentice be a failure.       

Even now that he was awake, Harry knew so little about any of it. He knew that Eggsy had failed to pass the trials but then taken them again and succeeded. He knew that the aftermath of having a Sith entangled in both the order and the senate had kept Eggsy busy enough that he had not yet been offered an assignment which would take him away from the temple for long. He didn’t know why Eggsy would not have taken one even if he was asked. He didn’t know why Eggsy visited him as often as he could even though his guts tied themselves in knots every time he looked at Harry.  

Eggsy kept it all behind the psychic wall he had built around his feelings for Harry, guilt weighing heavily on him as he did so. After all, he would never have taken the trials that first time, and he would have been with Harry the day he was hurt and perhaps spared him the pain and the long recovery that had followed, if he had not kept so much from his master in the first place.

“Merlin says I can take you home,” Eggsy said. He thought he sensed a flash of sorrow and uncertainty from Harry, but he couldn’t account for it.

“Thank the force,” Harry replied, and beamed, and that impression of unhappiness was gone as if it had never existed.

Eggsy managed to smile back, retrieving Harry’s robe for him. Harry didn’t bat Eggsy’s helping hands away, didn’t complain that he was no invalid and could fetch his own clothes, thanks very much- just another kindness that left Eggsy heartsick and scared. He hated to imagine that the distance between them would keep growing, but of course it was normal that it should. Eggsy was supposed to want to spread his wings, and go off on his own. He was not supposed to feel as if there was a thread inside him which connected his heart to Harry’s- a thread that if stretched too far would snap and break his heart along with it.

“Are you well?” Harry asked.

“I’m not the one who was almost killed,” Eggsy reminded him, hoping his voice would sound more teasing than raw.

“True,” Harry said, his lips twisting wryly. He still looked as though he was worried about Eggsy- and so, Eggsy supposed, he ought to be. Eggsy had promised himself that he would tell Harry the truth tonight, and he was tearing himself apart dreading it. Perhaps Harry would keep his promise and give Eggsy the gift he had always dreamed of, or perhaps he would gently refuse him- Eggsy had told himself over and over that what came next didn’t matter, however much heartbreak it might bring, but he only half believed it.

Eggsy did believe one thing, though: that his secrets must never get Harry hurt again.

*   *   *

Harry’s first night at home after he was released from the healer’s wing began as a pleasant one, more or less. As he had on most days since he became Harry’s apprentice and quickly discovered what a dreadful cook he was, Eggsy made them dinner. They spent the evening talking, Harry of how he had suffered at the healers’ tender mercies, and Eggsy of what changes he had noticed in his life since he became a knight.

Harry was enjoying himself and he believed that Eggsy was too- but he got the distinct impression that they were dancing on the edge of a knife blade and that there was no good way to fall. Even when Eggsy seemed happiest, some miserable thought was never far behind.

Harry could hardly blame him for that; though he was sure he concealed it better, Harry felt the same way. He was keenly aware that every joke and smile they shared might be the last. Oh, it wasn’t as though they would never see each other again- but in all likelihood Eggsy would leave on his first solo mission soon, and though he was not like Harry to go off to the outer rim for years and never look back he would still most likely be changed when he returned. And even if he wasn’t, things would never be as they had been. That was natural, of course- that was how it should be- but these quarters would seem so empty without him.  

It was that thought which particularly gave Harry pause, because as it grew late around them Eggsy had still not taken his leave. It occurred to Harry to wonder if Eggsy was not, in fact, still sleeping in their shared quarters. He would have to leave for his own eventually- Harry had assumed, while still in the healer’s wing, that he already had, and been reluctant to leave a place where he could depend on seeing Eggsy most days for somewhere where he was unlikely to see him anywhere near as often- but perhaps he had not yet done so. As much as Harry wanted to keep Eggsy here forever he almost wished that Eggsy was already gone. He could sleep in Eggsy’s room, if that was the case, and- surrounded by his apprentice’s precious scent- it would be almost like being able to share his bed, as he had yearned to do entirely too often.

“It is very late,” Harry mentioned, vaguely- still unsure if Eggsy was leaving or not. All night it had been clear that there was something Eggsy wanted to say to Harry or ask of him- but every time he nearly spoke of it he lost his nerve. Harry had never seen Eggsy like this, never seen him shy away from a thing he had already decided to do, and every time Harry watched it happen, he hated it. Hated not knowing what troubled Eggsy. Hated not knowing how to help, or if help was even possible.  

At Harry’s words, Eggsy looked panicked. “Oh, yeah, ‘course,” he said. “You must be tired.”

Harry sighed at having been misunderstood, but nodded even though he felt fine. He entertained a brief fantasy in which Eggsy continued to misunderstand such hints from Harry and others, and just lived with Harry until he was made a master himself. It wouldn’t matter if he did- Harry wouldn’t take another padawan after Eggsy.

When Harry was knighted he hadn’t been able to go his own way soon enough, and though Harry had always parted with his apprentices on good terms most of them had been the same way. Eggsy was different, though- and in addition to that, or perhaps because of it, Harry’s feelings for him were different. Still, he had assumed that Eggsy would bid him a warm farewell and take his leave, and yet he hadn’t. He clearly felt sad, and worried, and guilty, and Harry was helpless to account for it. If Eggsy was leaving- and he must have been leaving- there was no reason for him to dread telling Harry so in this way. It was, after all, precisely what he was meant to do. Unless-

Unless he knew just how much Harry wanted him to stay.

 _No_ , Harry thought immediately. _He can’t possibly know_. Harry was not a demonstrative man, but he had always gone out of his way to be affectionate with Eggsy, to show him how much he was loved. It was only recently in the larger scheme of things- the last few years- that Harry had come to love Eggsy too much, and he kept it to himself for much the same reason he was now afraid to think he might have failed. Eggsy must not believe he owed Harry anything he could not give. And for someone so young and beautiful and full of potential to offer his life to an old man like Harry… It was unthinkable.

It had to be something else. Something had to be troubling Eggsy beyond what Harry knew of. After everything that had happened, Harry was more than ready to admit that there could be a great many things he did not know.

The atmosphere between them had been so different the last time they were alone together outside the healer’s wing. That had been the night before Eggsy took the trials that first time, and everything had been as it ought to have been- Eggsy’s excitement and anticipation had been bittersweet, certainly, but he had been nowhere near as sick at heart as he was now. Harry had been so sure of him then, confident that he would be successful- and he had been so shocked, the next day, to learn that Eggsy had failed and be shipped off on a mission before he could even speak to Eggsy. He hadn’t understood how it could possibly have happened- but he had known immediately that any error had been his. It was the result of some terrible fault in the master, for an apprentice to take the trials before he was ready, and Harry spent the entire trip desperately searching for the best way to beg Eggsy’s forgiveness for making such a mistake.

Harry had been unable to find anything to blame but his feelings for Eggsy. He had allowed Eggsy too much independence and tried to send him to his knighthood too soon, that was the only explanation. He had not been consciously aware of pushing Eggsy too hard- but he had fallen in love with his apprentice, so of course he had wanted to give him his privacy, of course he had hoped to soon meet him on equal terms and ask him if he could ever feel the same way.

But then Harry had almost died, and when he woke in the healer’s wing Eggsy had been made a knight after all, so it was possible that Harry’s failure had not been as terrible as he had feared. Perhaps what Eggsy wished to tell him had to do with something else- something that had happened while Harry was recuperating, or maybe before. Harry could only hope that it was not failing the trials the first time that Eggsy wished to apologize for, the fault in that regard was Harry’s alone. He hated to imagine that Eggsy had troubled himself over it in the slightest.    

For now all Harry could do was wait for Eggsy to speak on the subject.

Since Eggsy had apparently decided that Harry needed to be put to bed like a child, he helped Harry up. Harry allowed it, torn between his natural inclination to do things by himself and his shameful desire to have as much of Eggsy’s touch as he could before they were parted. Accordingly he let Eggsy lead him toward his room, pausing in the doorway only when the movement jarred Eggsy’s braid loose from where he had been keeping it pulled back along with his rapidly growing hair.

Harry paused, catching it in his fingers before he could stop himself. “Why did you keep it?”

Eggsy shrugged. “Wouldn’t let them cut it when they knighted me. Had to be you.” Eggsy’s voice was low and it only got lower, his brows drawing together to form a sharp line across his forehead. “I was so scared.”

He had had every reason to be. A Jedi had never been as close to death as Harry had been and lived. But of course, Jedi were trained to accept death as oneness with the Force and not fear it- and Harry had not feared it as such, but he had been unwilling to meet his end without seeing Eggsy again, not after the way things had been left between them, and so he had simply refused to die. But even so he had only survived because Eggsy had found him in time. “I’m all right, Eggsy,” Harry assured him, twisting the braid around his fingers unthinkingly. “And it’s thanks to you.” He was afraid that by letting Eggsy fuss over him so he had worried his former apprentice even more. “I am more than capable of walking this distance without help.”

A helpless, sad smile broke across Eggsy’s face. “I know,” Eggsy whispered brokenly. “I know.” He didn’t let Harry go.

Eggsy’s face contorted and then settled into an expression Harry knew well. It was the look Eggsy wore when he had taken it into his head to do something he was reasonably sure Harry wouldn’t like. He was determined, mind already made up, but he was also preparing himself for whatever terrible aftermath he had already imagined.

Harry remembered when he found Eggsy as a boy. He had gone unnoticed by the temple until he was almost too old- actually, half a year too old, by Merlin’s count, not that Harry had paid him any mind- because his planet was home to a pair of feuding warlords, neither of whom had been especially interested in involving the Jedi- not until a plague threatened to kill them all and having a Jedi Knight brought in to arbitrate and hopefully end the fighting had seemed like a small price to pay to survive the winter. By the time Harry got there, it was a bloodbath anyway. Eggsy had been the stepson of a particularly brutal general in one of the two armies. Harry wasn’t particularly sad to have failed to save that man, not when he saw how easy Eggsy was to startle, how he expected insults anytime anyone addressed him.

No one at the temple had been quite sure what to do with Eggsy. Many of the masters who watched over the children had insisted that Harry’s frequent visits would only leave him more temperamental and isolated. Harry had had Eggsy moved several times until he found one who didn’t complain. Not for his own benefit- well, not _purely_ for his own benefit- but because anyone who thought that having someone care about his welfare would make Eggsy full of himself obviously didn’t understand him at all.

The memories of his former life- and the punishments it had taught him to expect- had stayed with Eggsy for many years, but it was now long since Eggsy had claimed that Harry’s disappointed face was harder to bear than any of them.    

Whatever Eggsy was going to tell him, Harry resolved not to do that. Eggsy was no longer his apprentice, and Harry had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt. That was his only job now.

But once again Eggsy hesitated. Once again he shied away from his chosen course in a way that Harry had never known him to before. And Harry had never been very good at doing nothing, so he felt he had to at least try to help Eggsy in some way. He lifted a hand and touched Eggsy’s face gently. “I can see that there is something you want to tell me,” he said. “Tell me.”

Eggsy made a quiet noise, eyes drifting closed. He leaned into Harry’s touch, rubbing his cheek against Harry’s palm. When he opened his eyes, they were calm again, and certain. Harry could feel the determined set of Eggsy’s jaw under his hand. Eggsy’s own hands- one against Harry’s shoulder, the other at his waist- closed into fists, and suddenly he pulled Harry against him. Against his _mouth_.

Harry couldn’t help the shocked exhalation he gave when he processed Eggsy’s lips over his, soft and hesitant but far too sweet. By the time Harry managed to tell himself not to do this, he was already kissing Eggsy back. He cupped Eggsy’s face in both hands, Eggsy’s braid still twined around his fingers, and kissed him like he would never get another chance.

Of course, it struck Harry as entirely likely that he wouldn’t.

 _He_ does _know after all. He must. How pathetically in love with him you’ve been for years. Perhaps it’s a parting gift._ The thought sounded so bitterly in Harry’s mind.

Harry wasn’t sure he cared if it was. _He’s an adult now- and a knight,_ Harry reminded himself. _He’s free._

_Maybe, under other circumstances- but he just almost lost you. He told you how scared he was. What if-_

Harry broke the kiss and pulled away. Eggsy was pressed into the doorjamb and Harry had no idea when or how that had happened. He had never felt so out of control before, but then he should have known Eggsy would have that effect on him.

Eggsy slumped against the doorway, a flush high on his cheeks. He bit his lip, already faintly pink and shining. _I did that_ , Harry thought. He wanted to kiss Eggsy again- and again and again- but he focused instead on Eggsy and how _he_ felt. He was worried, now- but for a moment, when they first kissed, Harry had felt such relief coming from him.

While they were still master and apprentice, Eggsy’s mind had been like an open door through their training bond. After the knighting ceremony it would have been closed off- probably by Merlin. While not severed it would certainly have been diminished- Harry could still feel his own old training bond, dulled as it was with age and disuse- and Harry had supposed that when Eggsy became used to the changes he would learn to treat his bond with Harry the way Harry did his with his old master. A way to check on Harry’s general welfare if he wished, or to send him thoughts in an emergency, but not as the constant, living link it had once been. At this point, Harry knew that he shouldn’t have been able to sense Eggsy’s thoughts so clearly that he took them for his own- but Harry had, except that though he had felt many things when Eggsy kissed him- confusion, joy, fear, worry, desire- he had not felt relief.

In hindsight, Harry knew, too, that he had been reading Eggsy more easily than was normal all night. He had rather assumed that a combination of his diplomat’s ability to read a room, his knowledge of Eggsy’s body language and responses, and what remained of their training bond would have been enough to give him a fair idea of how Eggsy had been feeling all night, but he actually knew _too_ well, didn’t he?

Perhaps Eggsy had also not let Merlin shut down the bond, needing to see Harry awake and whole first; Harry decided that the why didn’t really matter at the moment. What did matter was that whether it was pity or affection or something else that had driven Eggsy to do this, Harry’s refusal would still hurt him. For a young man who could be so arrogant, it was horribly easy to make Eggsy feel that he wasn’t good enough. And Harry might be old and he might be foolish, but Eggsy was everything to him and if Harry sent him out into the galaxy with nothing else it would be how very loved he was, if only by this foolish old man.

Harry kissed Eggsy again, kissed him how he wanted to, how he had wanted to for years- like if he had his choice he would never let him go. And Eggsy, pinned between Harry’s chest and the wall, seemed to blossom, opening under his mouth like a flower to the sun.

“My boy,” Harry murmured, pushing little kisses into Eggsy’s lips before diving deeper again, savoring the way Eggsy let him in. Eggsy’s braid was pulled tight enough that Harry was afraid he might hurt him. He forced himself to loosen his grip, but then Eggsy whined and clung to him, arms twining around Harry’s shoulders and dragging him closer. Harry went, joyfully.

He finally released Eggsy’s mouth only to drag his lips along Eggsy’s jaw. Eggsy’s skin tasted as sweet as Harry had hardly let himself imagine it would be, and he was so responsive, gasping and whining softly at the touch of Harry’s mouth.  

“Please,” he heard Eggsy murmur, felt the motion of Eggsy’s lips against his temple. “Harry.”

Harry sucked in a breath and pressed his full body to Eggsy’s, growling, and tilted Eggsy’s chin up to drag his teeth along the underside. Eggsy scrabbled at his tunic, clawing at the fabric. “Say that again.” Harry barely recognized his own voice.

“Please,” Eggsy whimpered.

“No.” Harry pressed a kiss to his chin. “My name. You said my name.”

“Harry.” Eggsy held Harry’s eyes, too much feeling pouring out of him through their bond for Harry to read much of it, though he certainly tried. He read enough to know that Eggsy wanted this, that he wanted more.

Harry captured his mouth again, kissing Eggsy as he touched him. He cupped Eggsy’s jaw briefly, then let his hand slide down the smooth expanse of Eggsy’s throat to his chest and then his stomach, reveling in the way that Eggsy arched into his touch. “Harry,” Eggsy gasped against Harry’s lips as Harry’s fingers dragged along the length of his cock. He was hard. He was so very hard.

“Would you let me-” Harry managed, wanting too much to properly articulate it all. “May I-”

Eggsy swore softly, fingers curling into fists. “Anything,” he whispered, nuzzling Harry and kissing whatever part of Harry’s face was available to him.

Harry groaned and gave him one more kiss before dropping to his knees. Pity or not, Eggsy did want him a little and Harry wanted nothing more than to please him. Harry kept his eyes on Eggsy’s face as he rubbed his cock gently through his clothes, watching the way Eggsy’s head rolled back against the wall, his eyes falling closed. Harry squeezed lightly, and Eggsy’s teeth caught his lower lip and then let it go as he moaned softly. “Harry,” he heard Eggsy whisper, voice thick with awe. Harry could sense how good just this was making Eggsy feel, how astonished Eggsy was that this was actually happening.

Harry undid Eggsy’s trousers and drew him out slowly, wanting to savor this in case he was never permitted to do it again. Eggsy’s cock was hot and silky in his hands, leaking a little at the tip as Harry stroked him. Harry’s mouth watered for a taste, so he tasted, tongue flickering out over the slit. The sound that Eggsy made at that was more like a sob than anything. Harry backed off. “All right?” he asked.

“Are you kidding?” Eggsy breathed, holding his eyes wide open to stare down at Harry. “You are so-”

Harry didn’t pick up much else after that beyond a string of expletives that Eggsy definitely had not learned from Harry, although he wouldn’t pretend not to like hearing them. Harry pressed kisses to Eggsy’s cockhead before letting the swell of it push between his lips. He laved at it with his tongue and sucked. Eggsy made a choked sound, his hands finding Harry’s shoulders again briefly before his fingers alighted hesitantly in Harry’s hair.

Harry hummed encouragingly, letting Eggsy touch him as he pulled him deeper. He was hit with another wave of it, the mixture of joy and disbelief that Eggsy was mainly feeling right now. In fact, Harry’s sense of Eggsy seemed to be getting stronger by the moment. He sucked Eggsy harder and he knew exactly how it affected Eggsy. He didn’t think it would take much more for him to come and he didn’t want to disappoint Harry.

 _You couldn’t_ , Harry projected, cock pulsing as he experienced traces of Eggsy’s pleasure. _Don’t be afraid to- please._ It was difficult for Harry to explain to Eggsy- even with a thought or an image- what it did to him to imagine Eggsy falling apart for him like that, but he certainly tried.  

Eggsy moaned, hips bucking, and Harry supposed he had managed it well enough.

He hadn’t done this in years, hadn’t felt right taking a lover when the only one he wanted was so close at hand, and Harry choked and pulled off when Eggsy bottomed out in his throat.

“Sorry,” Eggsy whispered. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Harry replied. _More than fine_. Harry’s eyes were watering and he found he rather liked the messiness of it- and he thought that how desperate for him Eggsy was, how much the simple fact of being in Harry’s mouth was doing for Eggsy, was simply incredible. He wrapped his fingers around the base of Eggsy’s cock and then stroked him a few times, suckling at the tip.

“Oh,” Eggsy sighed, fingers threading through Harry’s hair. “I’m really gonna-”

 _Yes_. Harry pulled Eggsy into his mouth again and this time Eggsy slid inside just perfect, coming across Harry’s tongue and down his throat.

Harry swallowed every drop and then lingered after Eggsy’s cock slipped from between his lips, resting his cheek against Eggsy’s thigh as Eggsy petted his hair. Most of the people he had been with before he fell in love with Eggsy had been at least somewhat telepathic, but he had never shared a bond with any of them like the one he had with Eggsy. He had felt it when Eggsy came, felt it tearing through him and almost come himself. He dropped his free hand, pressing the heel of his palm to his cock.

Clearly that sense went both ways, because Eggsy said, “Oh,” and came out of his post-orgasmic haze. He dropped to his knees in front of Harry and kissed him fiercely. “Let me,” Eggsy murmured between deep, sucking kisses.

He plucked Harry’s hand up without waiting for a reply, the way he typically did when he’d had an idea he thought would work in the field and expected Harry to go with it.

Harry always did, and he was more than happy to do so now as Eggsy pushed his hand into Harry’s trousers and touched his cock. Eggsy made a pleased sound, muffled by Harry’s mouth, and stroked him. Harry thought about asking him to stop- he was close to coming already and spilling in his trousers like a boy wouldn’t be very dignified- but then he didn’t. Eggsy deserved to know how much just being with him was doing for Harry as well. The touch of Eggsy’s perfect, beautiful hand was more than enough to undo him completely.

He shot across Eggsy’s palm, burying his cry in Eggsy’s lips.  

“Oh,” Eggsy said again, that tone of awe back in his voice. He eased his hand out and Harry caught it, kissing Eggsy’s knuckles messily and cleaning up his fingers with his tongue. He didn’t want the moment to end, afraid of what would happen when they parted. He was amazed when Eggsy wrapped his arms around him, hugging him hard, and shook faintly against his chest.    

 _Please_ , Harry heard as clearly as if he had thought it himself. For a few moments, Harry wondered if perhaps he had. _Oh force please don’t let that be all. He promised me anything. I wanna give him everything._

A memory tugged at Harry’s mind, of himself telling Eggsy that when he was knighted he could have whatever he wanted. Harry had assumed it would be a favored piece of furniture or something along those lines, but suddenly Eggsy’s thoughts in that moment were as clear to Harry as his own. What Eggsy had wanted was Harry, if only for one night.     

Harry pulled away, shocked, and looked at Eggsy’s face. He cupped Eggsy’s cheek and then ran his thumb over Eggsy’s lush mouth. Though Eggsy’s lips didn’t move, Harry heard, _please don’t send me away. Not yet._

Harry’s sense of Eggsy had never been this strong before; it was like Eggsy’s every thought came into Harry’s head only seconds after it entered his own. Though he had almost always had a fair idea of Eggsy’s state of mind, Harry had given him his privacy in most respects; still, he didn’t understand how Eggsy had kept the feelings Harry was now bombarded with- the love, the longing, the desperation and desire- from him for so long. More importantly, Harry didn’t understand why they were flooding his mind now.

Feeling and impressions from the padawan would flow into the master’s mind almost constantly while the padawan was very young- it helped the master to keep track of them, among other things- but they learned to control what went through the bond early on, and Eggsy had learned even more quickly than most.

Fully formed thoughts had almost never appeared in Harry’s head without Eggsy actively intending them to, and now… Their bond should have been at its weakest, so why would it be happening now, like this?

Harry looked deeper, and then he saw it. The training bond looked precisely as it should have after a knighting ceremony- faded, dulled- but it was possible that Eggsy hadn’t even noticed what had happened, and it made sense that Harry hadn’t missed the bond when he woke- because there was another bond now- new, but shining and strong, wrapped tightly around their training bond. It must have formed while Eggsy was trying to keep Harry alive, and its presence would certainly explain why, during his recuperation, Harry had sometimes felt perfectly fine while it was Eggsy who was overtired. Eggsy was sharing energy with him still without even realizing it.

Harry would have to watch himself more carefully in that respect, because the fledgling bond would have been further strengthened by what they had just done- what Harry hoped Eggsy would want to do again.

Undoubtedly this was why Eggsy had stayed in the temple for so long. It was relatively clear that he did not know about the bond, but probably the council did. Merlin must have seen it when Eggsy was knighted, must have known how Eggsy would have had to feel about Harry for it to form and finally lost patience, keeping Eggsy from being pressed into taking an assignment until things could be sorted out between them.

Carefully, Harry sent a little of the awe and joy and general well-being he currently felt through the bond.  

“What is that?” Eggsy whispered.

“It’s another bond,” Harry explained. “One I suspect you created when you saved my life. It connects our minds.”

“How-” Eggsy swallowed, mouth twisting. “Can we get rid of it?”

“It’s new and relatively weak,” Harry said. “But even so it would be difficult. Typically such bonds are only broken to save a life, and even then it is often impossible. Do you want it gone so badly?” Harry was sure Eggsy didn’t, or he would be feeling much less serene and Jedi-like right now.

“I don’t,” Eggsy sighed out. “But _you_ must-”

“I assure you, I do not.” Harry gripped Eggsy’s arms. “Do you really think such a thing could have happened if I did not desire it as much as you? Bonds like this one cannot form in the unwilling.”

“You want-”

“I want us to be partners, but I had resigned myself to letting you go.” Harry touched Eggsy’s braid again. “How did you keep it from me?”

Eggsy hesitated. “Keep what from you?”

“That you love me.”

Eggsy flushed and ducked his head. “I knew you couldn’t ever feel that way about me.”

“But I do.”

Eggsy laughed sadly. “I know you love me in your way, Master, but I…” words seemed to fail Eggsy. He set his jaw and used the bond to show Harry images instead. Primarily of Harry making love to him slowly and carefully, showing him what felt good. It was an old fantasy- so old and treasured that it had ultimately survived every first time Eggsy had had without Harry, becoming worn over all the years Eggsy had nursed this without truly believing anything could come of it.

Harry must have projected that thought, because Eggsy laughed again, hollow and strange. “I’ve wanted you since I was fifteen, Harry.”

“And I have loved you for much longer than that. I was always drawn to you, to your bright, beautiful soul and your kind heart. When it came time to choose apprentices, everyone else saw the chip on your shoulder, but I saw the boy I would give the rest of my life. I didn’t start want you until you were nineteen, but rest assured I _have_ wanted you.” He sent his own images of how Eggsy had glowed in his eyes from the very start, how Harry had come to live for his smiles, for his touch. “Please believe me.”

Overwhelming joy filled Harry when Eggsy finally did. He wasn’t sure if it was Eggsy’s or his own; he didn’t completely think that it mattered either way.

“Come, you were right that I should go to bed,” Harry said, pulling Eggsy up. He still didn’t feel tired, but he was more relaxed than he had been, and he knew now that he had to take better care of himself for Eggsy’s sake as much as his own.  

“And can I-” Eggsy hesitated- “join you?”

Harry smiled. “Of course you can.” He took Eggsy’s hand. “I should like nothing better.” It was true; he remembered earlier that evening, wishing hopelessly to spend the night in Eggsy’s vacated room. He led Eggsy inside. This would be so much better.

*   *   *

Eggsy woke in the morning and found himself alone. He was sure he could remember Harry laughing and smiling and helping him strip down to just his undershirt, tugging him into bed and pressing long kisses to his hair and forehead until he drifted off to sleep.

For a while, Eggsy stared up at the ceiling, weighing the probability that he had dreamed it all. But no- he couldn’t have, because this was not his ceiling, it was Harry’s. If he turned his face, he could pick up Harry’s scent on the pillow. But though logically he knew that Harry was an early riser and likely to be restless after so long in the healer’s wing, even though he was aware that Harry was too fastidious to wait long to clean up after the night before, he still worried. With Harry beside him, touching him so gently and looking at him so tenderly, it had been easy enough to believe that he might somehow be about to get everything he had wanted for so long. Alone in the cold light of day, however, it was another story. How could Harry actually want this? Want _him_?

But the tendrils of panic had barely a second to take hold before he wasn’t alone anymore. Harry came in from the sitting room and Eggsy was in his arms a moment later.

“It did happen, then,” Eggsy managed, pressing his face into Harry’s shoulder.

“Of course it happened, my darling,” Harry said, pressing kisses into his hair. “Oh, my dear, dear boy.” The bond Harry had showed him the night before pulsed as Harry sent waves of affection and adoration through it.  

To have come so quickly, Harry must have been able to feel Eggsy’s doubts through that same bond, and Eggsy immediately felt guilty for burdening him with them.

“Hush,” Harry said, picking that up as well. “It’s my job to make sure you know that I love you. Never apologize for showing me if I’m failing.”

But Eggsy did want to apologize, for that, if nothing else. Harry had always made him feel loved. For all Harry had visited him often when he was a child, Eggsy had never thought- never allowed himself to hope- that Harry would pick him. He had known perfectly well that he was considered too old and too unruly. He hadn’t been surprised when none of the masters wanted him. But then Harry _had_ , and Harry had told him every day how lucky he felt to have Eggsy as an apprentice. And Harry had taken such good care of him since that time. The fact that they had misunderstood each other at this late stage didn’t negate all those years that Harry had never let Eggsy doubt how pleased with him he was, how proud.

“Thank the force for that,” Harry murmured, running gentle fingers through Eggsy’s hair. “But this is more than that now. I never want you to think that you don’t deserve my love any more than I wanted you to think that you didn’t deserve to be my apprentice. You have been the best, brightest thing in all my life. I want you to _know_ it- for my sake if not your own.”

“I’ll try,” Eggsy promised- and he meant it, but he still rather wished that he wasn’t so exposed to Harry right at the moment.

“Then I will teach you to control it,” Harry told him.

“Yeah, all right,” Eggsy agreed, wondering in the same moment if that was the right path to take after all. Hadn’t he promised himself only yesterday that there would be no more secrets between them? And hadn’t he almost failed? He had spent half the night before opening his mouth to tell Harry the truth and then losing his courage at the last moment. If Harry hadn’t looked so lovely there at the end, if he hadn’t touched Eggsy so sweetly, Eggsy would never have kissed Harry, and this morning would have looked very different than it did now. Hadn’t keeping secrets caused enough trouble between them?

“What do you mean?”

And Eggsy was, briefly, glad that so many of his thoughts and feelings bled through the bond, because he feared he could not even begin to explain it all, but he could show Harry.

How Harry had looked to Eggsy, one day at fifteen, when Eggsy first wanted to trace the line of Harry's jaw with his lips. How completely unable to think about anything but Harry’s hands on him he had been for the next few months after that. Teenage lust was, Eggsy supposed in hindsight, probably something that every Jedi master expected to pick up from their apprentice at some point- but at the time he had been humiliated. One day Eggsy and Roxy had sat on the sidelines, watching Harry and Percival spar, and Roxy had noticed the hunger on Eggsy’s face and said, _It’s started, then_. She was a few years older than Eggsy and considered herself very much the wise old woman- and therefore took it upon herself to inform Eggsy that most apprentices- especially when their masters were attractive and of a compatible species- developed crushes on them at some point. _If the apprentice makes a move_ , Roxy had explained, _it’s the master’s job to turn them down, naturally_. She had relayed all this as if she was above it, but years later she admitted to Eggsy that Percival had done exactly that to her just a year before she and Eggsy had that conversation. Eggsy, who hadn’t yet thought much about what Harry’s position on the matter would be, had immediately been able to imagine Harry’s kind and gentle rejection all too well, and had begun fighting his feelings, burying them, walling them off where Harry would never see them.

Though Eggsy never stopped wanting Harry, never stopped dreaming that one day Harry would turn around and want him in return, he knew why Harry would have turned him down back then. Why he would have had to. Roxy had gotten over her interest in Percival quickly enough; most apprentices did. Such feelings could not be fostered in those who were too young to handle them logically, and no matter how much an apprentice thought they knew their own mind, it would still be far too easy to take advantage.

That was how the hiding had started- with Eggsy preferring to keep his feelings secret rather than face Harry’s refusal, no matter how right he would be to give it.       

But that was not how it had ended. Eggsy showed Harry everything, including the reason he had really failed to pass the trials that day. “The council must have known,” Eggsy whispered miserably. “They must have known how I felt about you.”

“I know Merlin does,” Harry told Eggsy. He was quiet, processing everything that Eggsy had shown him.

“He does?”

“No doubt he saw the bond at your knighting ceremony, but I rather suspect he was aware of the possibility long before then, at least… from my end.”

Eggsy stared at Harry; he couldn’t help it. It was difficult to imagine that he lived in a galaxy where Harry had been in love with him for years, where Harry’s friends had wondered about it.

Harry continued, perhaps unaware of Eggsy’s amazement but more probably simply ignoring it: “I suppose he had hoped we would speak of what we felt to each other and the council _before_ we did anything rash.”  

“Rash,” Eggsy repeated. That didn’t sound good.

“Most pairs that want to bond- especially when they have been as close as we have- are separated for a time so that the council can confirm that it is the right course.”

Eggsy shuddered. “I don’t want us to be separated.”

“After what happened, that’s completely reasonable,” Harry said. “But once things have evened out between us they probably will have us at least work on different projects for a time. You must understand why it’s a good idea- for both of us- not to be so much in each other’s pockets.”

Eggsy still didn’t like it, but he did understand, so he nodded. “But eventually we could be partners.”    

“Yes, of course,” Harry said. “We work entirely too well together for them to waste us. And although few master-padawan pairs develop soul bonds accidentally, as we have, it’s not unprecedented.”

“Why haven’t I ever heard of anything like that?” Eggsy asked. While he knew that such relationships were not forbidden- especially once the padawan had become a knight- it had never really occurred to him that he might be able to stay with Harry for good. Briefly, his resentment over not having known threatened to consume him.

Harry touched his braid, smiling gently. “You just told me how you knew that if a padawan develops feelings for their master, those feelings cannot be encouraged while they are too young. Can you imagine what it would be like if they were told that all they had to do was wait? It would make it more difficult for a padawan who _would_ get over those feelings to do so- and though it would be of great comfort to those padawans who, like you, never would, it’s a slippery slope we try to avoid if possible. And if anyone ever thought that it was expected…” Harry shook his head. “No, it was always considered best not to hide that possibility, but not to openly acknowledge it either.”

“I understand that too,” Eggsy whispered. “I do.”

“Good lad,” Harry murmured, kissing his temple.  

Eggsy clung to Harry as he pressed further kisses into his hair. There was euphoria, of course, in the realization that he could keep Harry, that Harry loved him back and they could finally be together- but beyond it there was such terror.

Harry tightened his grip. “What _is_ it?” he asked, sounding almost as horrified as Eggsy felt.

“You don’t know what it was like when I thought you were dead,” Eggsy whispered, sending Harry a sample of that agony and feeling Harry shudder against him and gather him closer. Eggsy could hear Harry’s heartbeat beneath his ear, and it helped but it wasn’t enough. “I was so close to the dark side when I fought Gazelle, Harry, you have no idea. Without you, I almost… What if something happens to you again? After all of this, I don’t know how I could-”  

“Oh, Eggsy.” Through the bond Eggsy could feel Harry’s uncertainty. There was something he could say, something he hesitated to give Eggsy to hold on to. “I suppose my keeping things from you has done its share of damage as well,” Harry murmured.

“What aren’t you telling me now?”

“That the more we are together the stronger the bond will grow. You already shared your life energy with me once, and that will only become easier with time. Eventually, it will happen in spite of us.”  Harry let out a long breath. “If we are not careful, I would take you with me if something like that happened again.”

That, then, was what Harry had meant the night before, when he said that such bonds were sometimes broken to save a life. Eggsy didn’t speak, but he felt a terrible sort of relief at the thought that he might not have to live without Harry after all- a relief mitigated primarily by the horror which came from the realization that it would probably also kill Harry if anything happened to Eggsy.

“Oh, my boy,” Harry sighed. “I don’t want to be without you any more than you do without me, I imagine.”

It was difficult to believe that could be true. Harry had been alive for so long before Eggsy was even born. How could he have become that important in so short a time?

“You have been the best thing in my life since I found you, Eggsy,” Harry said. “If there was a way I could remove all doubt on the subject from you, I would do it without hesitation. As it is, I know only time will make that happen. But I am happy- more than happy- to give you all the time that I have left. My spirit will be tied to yours forever, whatever happens to my body, so please don’t latch onto this. Yes, my death could kill you- but it is just as possible that you could live a long and happy life without me. You must know which I would prefer. Both options are, hopefully, avoidable. My race is longer lived than yours, and if we’re careful in the field there is no reason we cannot grow old together.”  

Harry’s words- the conviction and sense of peace Eggsy sensed from him when he said them- made Eggsy whimper softly. He needed more of Harry, right away. Again he was grateful for the bond that existed between them, because he didn’t quite know words for what he felt, what he wanted, but it was probably pouring into Harry already. For as long as he had known all the ways it was possible for two people to be closer, Eggsy had wanted every single one of them with Harry.

Harry chuckled. Underneath the warm affection that Eggsy sensed from him there was a deeper heat: desire. Harry wanted more too, and though it burned slower in him than it did in Eggsy it was just as hot. “I think we had better narrow that down a bit- for today, anyway,” he said.

Eggsy nodded. For today. He had experimented in his youth, as most young Jedi did, but his experimentations had slowly petered out the more he realized that as good as his body could be made to feel he would always be dissatisfied when his heart belonged only to Harry. He had decided, in the end, to content himself with his hand. But there were things- well, there was a thing- he had never done, unwilling to give that part of himself to anyone but Harry. It was what Eggsy had usually fantasized that they would do, after he was knighted, after he had convinced Harry that the only gift he wanted was a night in his bed. Eggsy swallowed, desire and inexplicable apprehension chasing each other through his mind. He opened his mouth, not sure what to say, where to begin.

Before he could find the words, Harry spoke, “I rather hoped, my Eggsy, that you would fuck me.”

Eggsy blinked at Harry, surprised by the wording but also- “I never-”

“Imagined, I know. That’s part of why I’m suggesting it.” Harry lifted a hand, running his finger from Eggsy’s forehead down his nose, teasing across his lips before landing on his chin. “I would dearly like to chase this notion from your mind, that you have so little to give me, that I am not as much yours as you are mine. And I know that you have some more experience in that area, and I think that we might be treading over enough new ground today as it is.” Harry’s fingertip was gentle but insistent, lifting Eggsy’s chin so Harry could kiss him, so softly. “And then there is the fact that I want you inside me.”

Eggsy swallowed heavily. “You do?”

“So much, dear one.”      

Harry was right that Eggsy had some experience in that area, with a few boys in the temple and also a princess he and Harry had once rescued from her treacherous chancellor. After what happened, she had hinted at wanting to pay Eggsy back. He had not been so naive as to think she meant in money or valuables, neither of which a Jedi could accept, but he had still been rather discomforted to imagine that she thought he felt owed a visit to her bedchamber. Harry had laughed when Eggsy said as much to him; for Harry, it had taken only one look at Tilde’s glinting eyes and clever smile to assure him that she was only teasing and felt in no way obligated. When Eggsy had, ultimately, taken her up on it, she had enjoyed herself as much as he did, if not more.

Eggsy had learned a great deal from her, but he still found himself afraid that it would not be enough, not for Harry. He had to be perfect for Harry.

Harry laughed softly. “Have I ever expected perfection of you on your first try?”

“This isn’t a kata,” Eggsy protested.

Harry kissed his nose. “You might be surprised. Open yourself up to me and your intuition will guide you much as it does in sparring. Here.” He reached out toward the bedside table, withdrawing a bottle of oil from his drawer and handing it to Eggsy.    

Eggsy stared at the bottle for what felt like only a second before he looked to Harry again, and in that time Harry had already stripped off what clothes he had been wearing- a casual tunic and breeches- and laid back on the bed. Eggsy’s mouth went dry. He had not seen much of Harry the night before, and while shared showers after training exercises and cramped quarters on missions left little room for modesty it was different now. Harry was naked for Eggsy’s benefit this time- and it was incredible. His hand moved in spite of him, but he stopped himself just before he made contact. “May I-” he felt he had to ask.

“Of course,” Harry said immediately.  

Eggsy’s hand landed on Harry’s sternum, and he dragged it down, trailing across Harry’s chest. He knew what felt like every bit of Harry’s skin. He had looked so often, and even touched from time to time, but it had never been like this. He had never been able to simply enjoy the pleasure of touching Harry and making him feel pleasure in return.

He understood, suddenly, what Harry had meant when he likened it to sparring. There was a time when he and Harry had been rather legendary in the temple, so well attuned to each other that neither could even think to strike a blow without the other anticipating it. And now… now he could sense the warm flush of Harry’s contentment, how good just the touch of Eggsy’s well-calloused palm made him feel. More than that, he could also sense the tendrils of Harry’s mind, half-formed wishes that didn’t even go anywhere, little impulses that could hardly even be called thoughts, contemplated and then released without hesitation in favor of letting Eggsy do as he wished.

But Eggsy was privy to them all, if he took the time to listen. Eggsy realized just how formidable the bond would make them once they were more accustomed to it, once observations in the field could travel from Harry’s mind into Eggsy’s without any effort whatsoever. Bonded pairs were always powerful, Eggsy had already known that- but a former master and apprentice would have to be even more so. Eggsy had been learning Harry- his fighting style, his impulses, his strengths and weaknesses- for most of his life, and Harry had done the same. Eggsy wondered how it was possible that he had never heard of such pairs before, and then answered his own question. Many of the greatest examples _were_ ; their history was simply not given out for the very reasons that he and Harry had discussed already.

Eggsy dismissed the topic from his mind. He and Harry would have more to say to each other on the subject eventually, but it could wait for now.

For now… “You want me to kiss you,” Eggsy said.

Harry’s lips ticked upward. “I shouldn’t want you to put yourself out,” he said, eyes glinting with humor.

“No trouble,” Eggsy replied, grinning. “Where’d you like me to kiss you?” He let himself settle against Harry’s side. “Here?” He kissed Harry’s smiling mouth gently. “Here?” He kissed the skin over Harry’s heart, and then bent lower, toward Harry’s stomach. “Here?”

“Wherever you like. I- _oh_.” Harry sighed it out as Eggsy made his way down to one of the only parts of Harry he was not already very familiar with. He had caught a glimpse of Harry soft a few times- exactly the amount that was to be expected of someone pointedly _not_ trying to peek- but he had never seen Harry hard, and now Harry was hard for _him_ , cock jutting up toward his stomach beautifully. Harry laughed breathlessly when he picked up threads of Eggsy’s train of thought, old musings that had been cut brutally short when Eggsy observed that Harry was… not small and refused to let himself ponder whether he grew even bigger when he was hard, what it would feel like to have Harry inside him.

Eggsy wrapped his fingers around Harry’s cock, savoring the heat of it in his hand, and stroked lightly- exploring, working out what made Harry feel particularly good.

 _Come here_. Eggsy wasn’t sure whether Harry had said the words aloud or merely thought them until he obeyed and they were kissing again and Eggsy could still hear- _it’s perfect, Eggsy. You’re perfect._

Harry wouldn’t rush him, Eggsy knew that. He let Eggsy just touch and kiss him for a while- force, Eggsy was still getting used to the taste of Harry's mouth, the fact that he was permitted this- but then Eggsy, his neglected cock pulsing as he felt the ghost of his own fingers wrapped around Harry, nebulously thought _more_.

And Harry’s mind immediately answered _yes, just let me-_

The thought came to Eggsy’s mind incomplete, accompanied by a vivid image of them both naked and pressed against each other, and Eggsy’s cock went impossibly harder. Desire and helpless affection washed over Eggsy as he felt Harry’s hands slide over his back, pushing underneath the shirt he had slept in and then pulling it over his head. The moment Harry had Eggsy naked he was kissing him again, or Eggsy was kissing Harry, it was hard to tell who had instigated what anymore. And it felt as good as Harry’s mind had suggested it would be when Eggsy was pressed up against Harry, the two of them skin to skin at last.    

Eggsy climbed half on top of Harry to kiss him better, and Harry’s arms drew around his waist. Eggsy felt so surrounded by him, and he had entertained that thought for hardly a moment before he could feel how much Harry loved it, how much joy the thought of holding Eggsy like this had always brought him.

 _Here now_ , Harry thought, shifting Eggsy’s weight and easing out from under him before giving him one more kiss. “How do you want me?” he asked. The smile on his face, the humor in his eyes- it all reminded Eggsy of how Harry had always looked when Eggsy came back from a training session with another master, eager to show off what he had learned. Seeing it now, like this, was everything Eggsy had never even allowed himself to fantasize about.

“Facing me,” Eggsy replied, knowing that Harry was pleased even before he sensed it.

“Then get to it,” Harry said, retrieving the bottle of oil from where Eggsy had dropped it and handing it to him. “You know this part, I believe.”

Eggsy obediently slicked his flingers. He knew this part, all right, but it was different because this time it was Harry. Harry lying back and spreading his legs for Eggsy. Harry looking up at him with such adoration on his face. Eggsy doubted he would ever get enough of it- but at the same time it struck him as an almost overwhelming responsibility. Harry might never have expected perfection, but that had never stopped Eggsy from wanting to give it to him. It was in Eggsy’s blood, in his bones, to be as good for Harry as he could.  

He settled between Harry’s parted legs and circled his hole with a light finger and felt it give. He knew as surely as if he was doing this to himself- which he had done, thinking of Harry, so many times- the moment Harry’s body completely relaxed into the intrusion, the slight burn giving way to pleasure. He knew when Harry was ready for another finger, and then another after that. He knew how much Harry liked the stretch of it when Eggsy wriggled and spread his fingers, making room for himself inside of Harry.

Harry felt so good around his fingers that Eggsy could hardly wait to feel it around his cock. Harry’s immediate reaction to that thought sparked through him, half amusement and half breathless anticipation.

_I’m ready, Eggsy, just go slow._

As if Eggsy would have done anything else. He drew his fingers out carefully and oiled his cock, holding the tip of it to Harry’s hole. For a few moments that was all he did, just savoring the softness of Harry’s skin against his cockhead, the promise of more, the faintest resistance before Harry’s body let him in. And when Eggsy started to move, to press inside, he went as slow as he could. Eggsy wished he could make it last forever, this moment- watching his cock disappear into Harry, feeling Harry take him in and hold him tight.

When Eggsy was completely buried he stopped. It seemed… crass to think that Harry felt better than anyone else Eggsy had ever been with this way- but he did. He felt hotter and tighter and sweeter, and the way he looked with his head tilted back as Eggsy filled him was very possibly the loveliest thing Eggsy had ever seen. And the sensation was made all the more intense by the fact that he could also feel how Harry felt, having Eggsy inside him like this.  

 _Breathe_.

It was only when Harry sent that thought to him that Eggsy realized he hadn’t been. He drew in a deep, rattling breath. “Master,” he sighed out on the exhale. Heat and desire not his own crashed through him. Harry wanted him to move, _needed_ him to move. Immediately. Eggsy rolled his hips carefully, and then again with more confidence. It felt amazing, drawing back and then sliding home again, and it made Harry feel so good in turn. He wanted more and Eggsy wanted to give it to him, but- “I don’t think I’m going to last very long.”

Harry’s voice was a little rueful. “Neither will I, most likely.”       

Eggsy thrust again, gently. “What should I do?”

“Kiss me.” Eggsy obeyed, bending to kiss Harry, taking his face in both hands as he did so. Harry’s arms went around his waist again, holding him. Harry’s heels dug into the backs of his thighs. _Touch me_. Eggsy dragged one hand down Harry’s chest and the hard plane of his stomach, and found Harry’s cock trapped between them, stroking it again. _And keep moving. I know you can do more than one thing at once_.

 _Yeah_. Eggsy kissed Harry deeper. It still took him a moment to work it out, finding a rhythm that felt just right to both of them, stroking Harry’s cock in counterpoint to his thrusting.

_That’s it. That’s good._

It was _too_ good, too much. Eggsy felt like every time he moved his hips, every time he pressed deep into Harry’s welcoming body, he got closer to the edge. He was going to come if he wasn’t careful, and though Harry was feeling good he wasn’t there yet.

_Ah, it’s all right. Trust me._

_‘Course I trust you_ , Eggsy thought. He trusted Harry more than he trusted himself, much of the time, and being able to share _this_ with him was more than he had ever allowed himself to hope for. His hips bucked and he shoved into Harry, fucking him hard. Since Harry’s every coherent thought was _yes_ and he couldn’t always manage even that, just sensations, emotions- how perfect Eggsy felt, how much he loved him- he supposed that was exactly how Harry wanted it.

Eggsy’s strokes along Harry’s cock grew more erratic as he lost focus, the pleasure cresting like a wave and then breaking. He worked deep as he came, and he felt Harry tighten around him, come splashing over his hand and stomach as Harry followed him. Eggsy wanted to fix the sounds that Harry made, still audible over Eggsy’s own shallow panting, in his memory forever.

He had the presence of mind to collapse beside Harry rather than on top of him. Eggsy was proud of himself for that.

 _I like having you on top of me_ , Harry thought, teasingly.

That gave Eggsy… ideas. Ones he had every intention of acting on, hopefully soon. Though this consideration was idle, it slipped through their bond.

“Not too soon, I’m afraid,” Harry murmured, touching Eggsy with lazy fingers. “You have, after all, tied yourself to an old man.”

Though he knew it was a joke, Eggsy said, “You’re not old, Master.” He flushed. He was not yet used to his thoughts being so open to Harry. He pulled out of him carefully, sensing Harry’s faint discomfort and mild disgust at the result. Eggsy stood on legs that felt like jelly, wanting to get a cloth to clean Harry up with and hoping that the activity would hide his growing embarrassment.  

It had taken him a moment, but he realized what he had just called Harry. He had done it while they were making love as well, and Harry had been good enough not to rebuke him on the subject, but he had no doubt that Harry would do so now. He wasn’t supposed to call Harry that. Not anymore.

By the time Eggsy returned with the cloth, Harry was sitting up, expression keener than he had seemed capable of a moment ago. He reached out his hands, silently, and Eggsy took them without hesitation. “Old habits die hard, Padawan, even in me. I would never expect you to stop using that title overnight, not even if you had come to your knighthood in the usual way. As it is, the change in circumstance is… beyond jarring. You are such a quick study that I have no doubt that you will learn to address me properly in public with time.” Harry raised one of Eggsy’s hands and kissed the knuckles. “As to when we are in private, however… if it feels right, to you, to call me that I will not correct you.” He kissed Eggsy’s fingers again. “Surely you could sense how it affected me. I… have no objection, so long as you know that you don’t have to, and that we are equals now. That in this… business of being together you shall be my teacher as much as I shall be yours.”

“Yes, Harry,” Eggsy said, unable to manage much more. He would meditate on the subject when he had leisure, and he would do what felt right in the moment when next it came, but he would take care not to lose sight of what Harry just told him. It was important, there was no doubt about that.

Harry smiled and released Eggsy. “Good,” he said, lying back on the bed, relaxing again.

Eggsy put the cloth he had fetched to use, cleaning Harry off and enjoying the waves of lazy contentment Harry sent him through the bond.

Even once Harry was cleaned up, Eggsy kept sponging him gently. He had always loved the lines of Harry, all straight and long and slender. He loved every scar, every imperfection, and he couldn’t believe that all of this was finally his to touch as he wished. Eggsy winced, embarrassed to have once again gotten lost in such thoughts and- judging by the faint thread of amusement he sensed from Harry- once again been caught out in them.

 _My insatiable one_ , Harry thought, oh-so-fondly. “You really must let me teach you to better control your end of the bond,” he said aloud.

Eggsy felt another jolt of panic at the thought of losing what he had with Harry at the moment. A bit of embarrassment here or there when an awkward thought slipped through was a small price to pay for the closeness he felt with Harry now, and the guarantee that he would never again hurt Harry by deceiving him.

“Hush, hush, it won’t be like that,” Harry soothed. “I will always be there. And we have both learned an important lesson about keeping what we feel from each other. Sharing such things will soon be second nature, but for now it is a question of giving you some privacy back. It’s best for both of us that I don’t keep picking up thoughts when you clearly don’t mean to send them.” He lifted Eggsy’s chin again. “I rather like the things you do to remain a surprise.”

“That’s not what you said when I used that hair loss gel on Merlin.”

“No,” Harry laughed. “I suppose not. Did I not tell you that there are always exceptions?” He took the cloth from Eggsy’s insensible fingers and kissed him soundly.  

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on [tumblr](http://potentiality-26.tumblr.com).


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